Chester Bennington

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Dear Chester Bennington, You’re gone. You took your own life, in your apartment, on the birthday of your late friend Chris Cornell. I suppose you were in a place in your head, a place even your lyrical genius would have a hard time describing. Perhaps, it weighed down on you, all the years of abuse and suffering. Some memories are too heavy to carry forward, all alone. There are so many things I wish you’d know, now that you’re gone. I am a little too late, you’re gone a little too early. Your voice has seen me through plenty of […]

Dulce Et Decorum Est

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Bent double, like old beggars under sacks, Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge, Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs And towards our distant rest began to trudge. Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind; Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind. Gas! Gas! Quick, boys!—An ecstasy of fumbling, Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time; But someone still was yelling out and stumbling And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime… Dim, through the misty panes […]

Reflection

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I found this in my notes today. Just one of those post-heartbreak kind of rants. The truth is that I was vulnerable, And you were so right for me, like the breeze bringing me relief from the sun that burned my skin and soul I enjoyed your presence, Thought, you brought along spring, I felt my heart heal, forget the misery and then your beautiful hands, they wrapped around me like a shield Our love was strong, against the world There were drizzles on some days but rainbows always came along, But then the rains turned into hurricanes the eye […]

Musings

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Don’t fabricate me to be a Goddess For I am not invincible My insecurities are buried deep within my Soul that has perserved through The best and the worst of this world That I neither created, nor will destroy But only struggle to understand   I have mortal powers And stronger mortal emotions Forcing me into making mistakes To look back upon to frown, or smile My twisted thoughts mould me everyday to Pave my way through the labyrinth With no escape but death   My eyes shine brighter than the stars Red lips linger, heavenly Promising you hazy memories for […]

Hello, 2016

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A new year, a new me. Literally. I did many things for the first time between the 31st and the 1st, and they are too personal to reveal anyway. Some memories make me laugh, the others make me mad. However, shit went down. Most importantly, I lost my wallet and phone. Yes, I lost all of it and now I’m relying on the cops to help me out. Fingers crossed. I really miss my phone, most of all. But oh well, lessons learned. Although my celebrations were…bitter sweet, to say the least, I do wish every single one of you a […]

“I’m sorry” he said

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“I’m sorry” he said. I smiled and told him it’s okay. He got mad about me talking to one of my male friends and started yelling at me when we were alone in the evening. I started crying, but he ignored me. But he said he was sorry, and I forgive him. “I’m sorry” he said. My boyfriend was furious I didn’t call him back. I tried to tell him I was driving and the traffic was bad, and I didn’t want to put anyone in undue risk. He told me that I wasn’t a good girlfriend and that I […]

Guidelines for my funeral

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You only live once? Not really. But you only die once. The finality of it can be scary, daunting. But as much as I’m scared of death and all things supernatural associated with it, I want to be able to see my funeral. I want to see who cries and who mourns and who ditches the entire thing. I want to see the people who were my entire life, and I want to see what I meant to them. But I also want some things done. I know, funerals aren’t for the dead but for the living. They’re to gain […]

Moving on

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As I sat in my bed, tears streaking down my face, I honestly envied all (alright, most) Disney princesses. Not for their damsel-in-distress kind of life stories, not for their “perfect” hair and curves, and most definitely not for the oppressive gender roles they accept and promote. I envied them because they all had fallen in love, and they had gotten their happily ever after. Cinderella or SnowWhite or Rapunzel, all of them had fallen in love with rather amazing men. And they had married them, and they had (as all the books and movies told me) a rather satisfying […]

Drip. Drip.

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Drip. Drip. The water droplets fell on her face as she hurried back home. She walked, no ran, into her apartment and into the washroom. She needed to hide herself in her fortress, where she could escape those disgusted stares. They kept mumbling something about her, they kept pointing figures at her. She needed an escape. Drip. Drip. The water droplets spiralled down the basin from the leaky faucet. She tried to wet her face and scrub to get it clean, but the marks just won’t disappear. She could see them now, the black spots people saw on her face. […]

Unbreakable bond

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She still remembered the day they first formed this unbreakable bond. She had just been placed into a foster family at the tender age of five, and as foster family tradition, went out for an ice dream on a Tuesday night. It was chilly, and Christmas was just around the corner. Lights made up for the gloomy winter nights, and carols were sung everywhere. She remembered buying chocolate ice cream, and her foster brother, whose name she yet had to learn, bought black current. As they walked down the street back to their modest house, their foster parents infront of […]