The boy

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There is nothing that can convince me that you were a mistake. It was you who gave me faith; who made me believe I was capable of loving and being loved. I could eat your fries without it being treated as a cardinal sin. And then, cry into each others’ arms on the beach at 2 am on a weekday, just because life is hard and we didn’t have words. You came rushing when I was in the hospital, and you assumed I was dying – I was not. Oh, how you just held my hand as the pain kicked […]


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Longing for a home that exists outside the realm of possibility   for I was taught that home is where the heart is yet mine lies cold in search of meaning, if there is any   perhaps I am doomed to be wandering finding love and hate and the comfort in between and not in dichotomies   there is no peace hidden in greys but in the hues of life places, people I yearn to be mine for eternity but soon I remind myself of the futility

Lessons from Africa

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It’s been months since I’ve left the red African soil (thanks for ruining half my wardrobe, by the way) and I’m still not over it. Every single time someone asks me about my trip, or I see a feature on TV, or when I hear the President Lungu talk – God, do I detest him – I go right back to those five weeks. It wasn’t just my first time travelling to Africa, it was my first time travelling alone. And when your tickets are messed up, your vaccinations are a tad bit delayed, your visa situation is tricky, you […]


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Lately Saturday nights have been going rather slow. Instead of spending time with the best people on Earth, I do statistics in class and then end up collapsing in bed when I get home. Saturday night, and I’m nauseous because I might have had bad food. Also, I’m miserable. I knew that I would have to get on with life after Zambia, that it wasn’t permanent. It was supposed to be a trip to open my eyes and experience the world, and experience the world I did. I was free and happy, I was content. I knew I was making […]

Less than 24 hours

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This time tomorrow, I’ll be at Johannesburg. Time flies by. I’m not yet ready to leave, and the feeling hasn’t hit me yet. I threw a small party for my kids at school and got them treats, and danced with those toddlers. I hugged them and took about 100 selfies with everyone, because why not? I met Christine and saw her in her school uniform, so excited to finally be able to learn.                                    Her mother started crying to me, and told me “You’re […]

A football match

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Yesterday I was flipping through TV and I came across a football match. Manchester United vs Everton, it said, and memories came rushing back to me. I went back in my bedroom, just before the tears slipped down my face. I went back to another one of those nights, Machester United vs Everton I think. I’m not sure. But it was an important match, and things weren’t going so well for the team before. You were going to a local bar to watch the match, and I had wished you luck. If only you knew, I wanted to talk to […]

Moving on

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As I sat in my bed, tears streaking down my face, I honestly envied all (alright, most) Disney princesses. Not for their damsel-in-distress kind of life stories, not for their “perfect” hair and curves, and most definitely not for the oppressive gender roles they accept and promote. I envied them because they all had fallen in love, and they had gotten their happily ever after. Cinderella or SnowWhite or Rapunzel, all of them had fallen in love with rather amazing men. And they had married them, and they had (as all the books and movies told me) a rather satisfying […]