Gardens and galaxies

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Don’t measure my pain against yours for no shade of dark nights comes with a scale to compare with absolutes of nothingness   My customised prison cell comes with dying, rotting flowers I once nurtured, everything futile, I weep as I wait to be finally one with what was once my pride   And maybe, maybe yours is the illusion of company like a thousand brilliant lights high up in the sky desperately trying to reach their warmth even as they blind you, burn you   How could we, strangers made from different stardust ever empathize without colliding and destroying […]

Moving on

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It was about this time, last year, that I broke up with my first love. Two years and more of a relationship, of talking almost every single day, until one of us fell asleep. That was what we had, and it was gone, instantly. Looking back, maybe it was inevitable. Both him and I know the reasons for the breakup, and both of us have slightly different versions. Today, I’m not here to prove myself right. Because what happened, happened. What was said and done, is exactly that, in the past. We both broke down and cried, drowned our sorrows […]

About turning 20

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The exact moment I was born, I spent napping today. I honestly cannot think of a better way to spend that precious time. Nah, I had plans. I’m just consoling myself for the kind of lame life I lead. It’s not as fun as my social media might lead you to believe. But a girl’s gotta keep up her game. So, 20 entire years ago, as in 2 decades ago, I almost managed to kill my mother and myself in the process of being born. Maybe I was a lazy baby as well, but I was in a breech position and […]

Reflection

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I found this in my notes today. Just one of those post-heartbreak kind of rants. The truth is that I was vulnerable, And you were so right for me, like the breeze bringing me relief from the sun that burned my skin and soul I enjoyed your presence, Thought, you brought along spring, I felt my heart heal, forget the misery and then your beautiful hands, they wrapped around me like a shield Our love was strong, against the world There were drizzles on some days but rainbows always came along, But then the rains turned into hurricanes the eye […]

My shoulders distract you?

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Today we welcomed – and also scoffed at, felt pity and low-key judged – the first year students into college. As is tradition, the most important clubs and committees in the college are required to give a short presentation to the students about…well, basically we just brag in hopes of getting members and volunteers. Some of you may know this, but for the one very loyal reader from the Philippines and other newbies (I appreciate you) I must clarify things before I continue. I am part of the core committee for the Gender Issues Cell, which deals with any and […]

“I’m sorry” he said

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“I’m sorry” he said. I smiled and told him it’s okay. He got mad about me talking to one of my male friends and started yelling at me when we were alone in the evening. I started crying, but he ignored me. But he said he was sorry, and I forgive him. “I’m sorry” he said. My boyfriend was furious I didn’t call him back. I tried to tell him I was driving and the traffic was bad, and I didn’t want to put anyone in undue risk. He told me that I wasn’t a good girlfriend and that I […]

Moving on

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As I sat in my bed, tears streaking down my face, I honestly envied all (alright, most) Disney princesses. Not for their damsel-in-distress kind of life stories, not for their “perfect” hair and curves, and most definitely not for the oppressive gender roles they accept and promote. I envied them because they all had fallen in love, and they had gotten their happily ever after. Cinderella or SnowWhite or Rapunzel, all of them had fallen in love with rather amazing men. And they had married them, and they had (as all the books and movies told me) a rather satisfying […]

I hope you never figure out your life

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Do you guys remember that one time, that one time that you had your entire life figured out and you were content and happy and at peace? Yeah, me neither. You know why? Because there is no point in life where you’ll have nothing, absolutely nothing to worry about. Wait, before you click the unfollow button, let me explain myself. There will always be life issues. You’ll always worry about things. Sometimes they’ll be as small as whether or not the barista is going to give you your coffee at just the right temperature, and other times they’ll be about […]